When I was diagnosed with late-stage cancer (i.e., chronic lymphocytic leukemia) at age 43 (1999), my wife and I were devastated. I was already exhausted from trying to keep up with our two-year-old twins and a six-week-old newborn, while juggling my responsibilities as a business and equity partner in our biopharma consulting company with more than 150 full-time employees reporting up through me at the time. So, when I learned that 94% of my body’s immunological defenses (i.e., white blood cells) were destroyed and my ability to get oxygen to my body tissues (i.e., red blood cells) was severely compromised, I now understood why I was exhausted, fully aware that the next bacterial infection would likely end my life. I had always prided myself on being an optimistic person who approached obstacles as a formidable challenge, but this was different. I came to the harsh realization that my future was mostly out of my control and if I did not survive, I would never be a part of nor influence my three children’s lives. Without a doubt, it was the lowest point in my life. Of course, we fought back, and with faith, the loving support of others and the miracles of modern medicine, I did survive, but it changed my forever. For the first time, I acknowledged my doubts, my vulnerabilities and all those what-ifs that make parenting so maddening, surrounded by the fear that we might not be enough to protect them from all of the monsters out there! 

In any case, life marched on, but fourteen years later (2013), I had a sudden and unexpected cardiac issue that, again, could have very easily ended my life. On a warm September evening, while I was walking laps around the field that my oldest (15-year-old) son’s soccer team was practicing on, I suddenly experienced chest pains and became weak as all of the energy drained from my body. As someone who had once competed as an elite athlete (semi-professional tennis), I sensed the danger and immediately sought emergency attention. Later that evening, I underwent cardiac angioplasty, with two stents placed in my heart to repair the 95% blockage in the largest (Left Anterior Descending) artery that supplies more than half of the blood to the heart. My cardiologists suggested that likely, I was only hours away from a catastrophic heart attack, often referred to as ‘The Widow Maker’ because, unlike other scenarios, the body cannot adjust to total blockage and death usually comes instantly. That is when it really hit me that my wife and I had been so busy protecting our children from the reality of my near-death experiences that we had not prepared any parting messages for them, no special way for me to be remembered, just gone. 

As a result, it begs the question, ‘How Do I Wish to be Remembered?’ because, as we all know, it is an inescapable reality of our lives and there is no way to anticipate when our departure will arrive. Even then, I still put it off, as if it were a chore, but in reality, I finally realized that time is a sacred gift that most don’t take advantage of, a chance to say goodbye on our own terms. Certainly, I don’t wish to sound overly morose, because most of us will likely live on at least until our children have launched as we become an elderly and supportive part of their lives, but what if I am not so fortunate? What if this is my time now to act and I ignored my chance to say goodbye? 

Our children are now in their mid-twenties and I realize that there is still so much I want to pass along. Not those insipid ‘life-lesson platitudes’ that only belong on a placard, but rather the wisdom that I have accumulated over a lifetime that offers honest perspective on how to fit in (and stand out) and ultimately move forward in this world. The bottom line is we all want to be remembered, and more importantly we have important messages for those we care most about. 

As a result, I have chosen to share my life as a ‘reflective memoir’, “A type of memoir where the author not only recounts personal experiences but also analyzes and reflects on their meaning and significance. It’s not just a recounting of events, but an exploration of how those events shaped the author’s understanding of himself in the world. The reflective aspect adds depth and insight, transforming the narrative from a simple story into a meaningful exploration of personal growth and understanding (Google, 2025).

At this point, allow me to pose the same question to you, the reader, ‘How Do You Wish to be Remembered?’ and then ask yourself if you have taken the necessary steps to do so before your time is up? If not, I encourage you to take advantage of the detailed, step-wise roadmap provided on my website, ReflectWithJames.com, and create your own reflective memoir that captures those stories that best define you and explore the emotional challenges that you were faced with. If you are willing to do so, please consider My Pledge to You:

• I will be honest and genuine in my writings, because only then, will you believe that this process will also work for you;

• I will share all of the tools and requisite knowledge necessary to assist you in creating your life story to share with others;

• I will show you how I reconciled my emotions in a particular moment and the life lessons I gained in order to assist you to do likewise and find your own truths that will help guide you through your life;

So, let’s get started unlocking your memories and not only create your own life story but also build a legacy to be proud of. As for me, I wish to be remembered as someone who paid life forward!

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Google (2025). AI Overviews [Generative AI Feature]. Reflective Memoir. Retrieved from Reflective Memoir. 

Note that this [URL] link is for a Google AI Overview so the actual content provided online may differ slightly from the description that is printed above.